Monday, September 20, 2010

Defamation of Character




If Taffy could sue me in a court of law, she would do so for defamation of character. Of course I would turn around and countersue her for vandalization of personal property. SOO, I guess it's a good thing we are talking about a dog here and we are really not headed for a long legal battle.

The bottom line is this: the good name of Taffy the dog has been slandered (by me... see previous posts) and I am here to clear her name.

Have you ever heard the saying, If you love something, then set it free?

I decided to do that last week. I was tired of fighting Taffy into the garage. I was tired of the shards of wood lying around the garage. I was tired of the wet dog I would come home to when she was caged, especially since I still do not even know what the wetness was/is. (Let's not talk about that anymore.)

Last week, I went to a shopping area that sits really close to my house. I decided I could do what I needed to do and be back home in 20 minutes. In that 20 minutes, I would let the dog have free reign of the house.

The thing that has always concerned me the most about leaving her is my front door. I waited 6 years for that front door and right or wrong (probably wrong), it is the pride and joy of my house.

If that dog so much as left a finger nail scratch in that wood, I would pluck her nails out one by one with some pliers and then I would have to blow her to smithereens with a shotgun.

I loaded my shotgun and ran to the store.

Ok, ok!!!! I don't even have a shotgun and as much as I don't LOVE dogs, I could never hurt one.

So, I ran to the store. I came home, pulled in the driveway, and with knees so weak I could barely walk, I made it to the front door.

I opened the front door, turned around and thoroughly inspected the door... the inside of the door. There was nary a scratch!

I got back in the car and went to Target. Target makes me happy... just so you know.

I came back and all was well.

Taffy has been left unattended since that day... and I am happy to report.... all has been well.

Taffy truly is the perfect dog... now.

P.S. Paul's mom came over the other night and when she saw the dog she said, "Hey Carmel!"

I was like, "What'd you call her?"

She said, "Carmel."

And, I said, "Or Taffy."

I tell you between her and my dad.... licorice, carmel. Hahaha!


P.S. The bird lady walking by my house again. (See previous post.)

5 comments:

Tony and Rett said...

FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST...THANK GOD ALMIGHTY, I AM FREE AT LAST!!

Taffy won the war!

Jeni said...

Thanks for a good laugh...I love "carmel"...

Did I tell you when we first got the call for the baby I told Jeremy his name. Well, later I said, "so are you excited??" He said, "oh, yeah...I can't wait to meet Baxter" (and he really thought that was his name). ...and now b/c of that story numerous people call the poor little guy Baxter.

Darja said...

1. that lady TOTALLY knew you were taking her picture.
2. Tell Paul's parents that Carmel's friend NARNIA says hi :)

The Conway's said...

Haha...glad to hear that Taffy is now a free pup!!
Looks like the bird lady almost caught you sneaking a picture of her :)

Jenney said...

So all the dog wanted was to be left out in the house? WEIRD.

I am about 99.9% positive I saw Paul at Cedarville's homecoming this past weekend. I didn't say anything to him though. What would I say "Hey, I think I read your wife's blog"??? CREEPY.

If I didn't have my 3 kids, weary husband, and parents along I'd have stuck around and seen if you showed up to...because quirky things always happen when you are around. But I didn't want to be the quirky thing so I moved on.