Thursday, December 24, 2009

Massive Head Wound Harry-Merry Christmas Eve

Can you see the bandage over his eye? I'll try to post the video later. Yep, dad taped the whole stitching;-)

Christmas Eve morning (9 am to be exact) Shelby and Jackson decided to wrestle on my bed? Why? I don't know. Why in the world do kids do the things they do. Never mind the fact that we have three HUGE living rooms where they could freely roll around the floor.

10 minutes into the wrestling match, we hear crying. The kind of crying where you KNOW someone is hurt. Sure enough, Jackson comes flying down the stairs with a gaping wound over his eye.

I took one look and knew he needed stitches.

Paul went to 3 different Urgent Cares before he found one that was open. And, while waiting to be called back at the third one, my friend Kris called me at home. I told her about Jackson and she said, "Take him to Jim! Jim will stitch him right up! He's in his office."

Jim is an OB.

My six year old son went to an OB an Christmas Eve and got stitches. I don't even know what else to say about that.

We called him Massive Head Wound Harry the rest of the day.

Did you expect anything less from me? Seriously! Stories follow me around.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Christmas Eve 2008

Yes, I am running a post from last year.


Because I don't have time to write right now~way too busy. And, because this one was so funny to me last year.

If my daughter, Shelby does not grow up to either

a) write songs
b) plan events
c) direct movies or plays

I will think the earth has fallen of it's axis. Because she has been doing all of these things for as long as I can remember( Well, not the movies). I am pretty sure she slid out of the womb and started singing. I just don't remember because all I could think about was the pain of having something really big come out of something really small.... I also remember thinking that all my friends were a bunch of liars because that epidural didn't do jack squat for me.

Anyway, she sings everything... math facts, bible verses, books, etc... And, there have been many, many times when she is singing and I will say, "Where'd you hear that song?" or I have learned to just say, "Is that a real song?" Her songs really are that good... sometimes.

And, if she is not singing, she is planning something. For instance, she already has a title for the family vacation that we will be taking in September with Paul's side of the family. Holden Beach Goes International. She has informed everyone that between now and then we need to research a country. Then, while on VACATION, we are to give a report on our country. On the last night, we are to prepare a food from our country and then we all settle down to an international feast.

We humor her for awhile, but then at some point, if the monster planner is not stopped, we end up with some crazy event. You know how I know this??? Because two years ago, she planned a prom. Nobody ever stopped her and before I knew it, I had kids dressed up at my house waiting to dance and eat pizza. You think I am kidding!

So, it was no surprise to me that when she found out her 6 (soon to be 7) cousins were coming in from Alabama, a Christmas play was quickly in the works. Parts were assigned, a script was written and a list of necessary materials was thrust into my hands. I scratched most of the things off the list. Paint? "Oh, it's ok if it's hot pink".... because certainly The Inn and the stable and manger were HOT PINK!!!!!!!

I think she was given access to a box and some scissors. Ok, and some costumes. I'll warn you now, they are rough costumes. It was a very low budget production.

We also had to get the keyboard over to the grandparents house... because what's a play without music and sound effects?

There were several scares that the production might not make it off the ground. I mean, baby Jesus (aka Emme) was not about to cooperate. And, Jackson and David... they DID NOT want to be shepherds!!

But, alas, the play began.

The angel (Camille) announcing the birth of Jesus. Although, now that I think about it, I am not sure she said a word.

Here's Jackson, the shepherd. Can you see why he might balk at the idea? Poor fella.

Shelby made good use of her box- it became the stable. I noticed there was also a gold bow that I think was supposed to be the star. That was not on the list of materials and I believe it was stolen. And, poor Joseph (Joe), he's having a hard time keeping his composure.

Joseph and Mary (Gracie) greeting the sheperds.

And, there's a shot of the director and the videographer.

You should know that about this time, the play turned into complete mayhem. Now that I think about it, I am not sure anyone actually said any lines. Big surprise. Instead, the director announced the events as they were occurring... changing the music when necessary with the keyboard you can see at her side.

When the director changed the music to Joy to the World and announced that there was some rejoicing, dancing, or possible moshing, took place. The stable was torn down and costumes came ripping off.

I think the play lasted a total of.... um .... 3 minutes.

You know, it was very funny. But, it was also VERY precious. I know these things won't go on forever. So, while I have a little fun with it, it is memories that I will forever treasure. And, as for Shelby and all her crazy planning... I really love it. She is so fun and creative. She is also very teachable with a very sweet spirit that loves the Lord. I can't wait to see what he does with her.

Until then, I will enjoy watching her. Here she is conning her sister out of her brand new DS before going to bed on Christmas Eve. And, apparently, she is a bit absent-minded like her mother. She has Christmas written on her hand. I mean, she might just forget if it's not on her hand.

And, for some reason, Jackson needed to play his DS in Emme's crib??

Merry Christmas to all... and to all a great 2009!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

What in the world have I been doing?

I have been asked by one commenter to please write about something.... anything so that headcheese is no longer the first thing to appear on my blog.

I am happy to oblige.

What in the world have I been doing? I have no idea but it's not been writing. Whenever I have a second, I just can't think of anything to write about. Probably because I am so tired.

I have 4 kids. Have I ever mentioned them?

Sometimes, I look around and think, "Where did these people come from?" I still feel like I am 18, so who in the world thought I could be responsible for other homo sapiens? And 4 at that!! So weird!

We always put up our tree the day after Thanksgiving... whether I want to do it or not.

See, I always go shopping on the Friday after Thanksgiving. I don't get up at 3 am and go. I get up when I get up and hit a few places. After all, I host 30+ people on Thanksgiving. BUT, that matters not to my husband. Clearly, he thinks I am Super Woman. BECAUSE when I get home from my little shopping venture, all the fall boxes are out and all the Christmas boxes are out. AND, I am supposed to magically take it all down and pack it up. Then, unpack it all and put it up.

Don't you do things by magic? There's lots of magic here. Paul usually says to me sometime during the Christmas season, "You're going shopping again?" He still believes in Santa. He has to! He thinks you are supposed to wake up on Christmas morning and WOW! How did all this get here?

I changed my mind. 5. I have 5 kids.

And, how in the world does Ohio State make it into all of our activities.... including decorating the tree?





And, how, out of 4 children, do I only have pictures of one child decorating the tree? I am mortified!

My absolute favorite part of Christmas is listening to my daughter, Shelby's, children's choir. The choir is amazing! Some of the most beautiful singing I have ever heard. AND, it is SO Christ centered.

I am always so sad when it's over.

Shelby sang two weekends in a row. The first weekend was her section of the choir singing with the Bach society in our city.

During the concert, the bell choir will do a couple of songs. I am always fascinated by the bells. It doesn't take much. I just want to know how you decide you want to be in a bell choir. Interesting. And, that bell, could it be ANY bigger? Geesh! That guy cracked me up. He had a lot of bells to juggle.... or I guess I should say... ring. And, he just looked so nervous the whole time.

We had some snow this weekend! Yea! The kids in the neighborhood played in in so much... they melted it all away. I am not kidding. They built a snowman with some of it.

And, so those are my kids and some neighbor kids.... but one girl... I have never seen her before in my life... until this picture. Interesting. Who in the world took the picture? For real!?

Sweet Gracie girl! She's so cute... and so sweet!

Jackson. Jackson's all boy. The end.

Gracie, with one eye and our neighbor, Kelsey.

And, yeah, we had a deer running around our neighborhood this morning. I looked out my window and I saw the little boy across the street, whose 3, standing and starring. Then, I kid you not, 4 feet away from him, was a deer. The little guy... he looked like the deer stuck in the headlights. He had no idea what to do. They are new in the neighborhood. I bet he didn't see "dogs" like that in his old neighborhood. Haha!!

That deer walked away and a smaller one appeared... and the little boy disappeared. He ran in the garage. He'd had enough.

P.S. We don't live in a neighborhood where deer should be running around like a stray dog.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009


Ice cream, pizza, a favorite restaurant... I can imagine having a craving for one of the three aforementioned things. But, someone, somewhere has/is having a craving for headcheese.

Until about a month ago, I have never even heard of headcheese. I had a friend ask me if I had ever seen it?

"That would be 'No!'" was my answer.

She kept telling me I had to see it. So yesterday, she lured me to the grocery store for the sole purpose of looking at headcheese. To be honest, I am not even sure she knew what headcheese was (bless her heart), she just knew it looked gross. The name alone should tell you to steer clear.

Do you know what headcheese is? It's pork tongue! Pork tongue made into a sort of loaf that you can walk up to the deli and order. "How would you like that sliced? Thick or thin?" (Barf)

Here is a more descriptive explanation of headcheese:
Head cheese, also called souse and brawn, is a jellied loaf or sausage. Originally it was made entirely from the meaty parts of the head of a pig or calf, but now can include edible parts of the feet, tongue, and heart. The head is cleaned and simmered until the meat falls from the bones, and the liquid is a concentrated gelatinous broth. Strained, the meat is removed from the head, chopped, seasoned and returned to the broth and the whole placed in a mold and chilled until set, so it can be sliced.

Boars Head... that's the brand name I saw on that headcheese package yesterday. I thought they prided themselves on quality meat. I was wrong. They have no standards if they will stoop to this level.

I am so disturbed by this that I can hardly write about it. I don't eat pork. (As a matter of fact, I adhere to Old Testament dietary food laws... in case I haven't mentioned that before.) So, I have a hard enough time seeing a pork roast or a pork chop. While searching for pictures of headcheese yesterday, I saw one discription that said... now with extra gullet. Do you know what gullet is?

Gullet-the tube by which food passes from the mouth to the stomach.

Hold on... I've gotta go hurl.

Headcheese... it's official. I've see it all now.

Please. Please tell me you have never eaten headcheese!

If you look closely, you can see the tongues.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

The eyes have it! Actually... no. No, they don't

Are you kidding me?

I took 6 pictures of my sister-in-law, Kelly, and in every single picture she shut her eyes.

Come on!

You have got to be able to keep your eyes open!
How old are you?

I seriously wanted to go over and beat her up.

Wonder what my brother would have done?

I gonna go with the wife... I'd bet he'd side with her.

Anyway, I think my sister-in-law is beautiful and you probably would too IF YOU COULD SEE HER EYES!!

Friday, November 27, 2009

Thanksgiving 2009

10:30 am on Thanksgiving morning, we got a phone call that Paul's dad could not quit throwing up, that his chest was hurting, and that an ambulance was on it's way.

Great! Happy Thanksgiving!

Paul immediately left to be with his mom and dad, who only live 5 minutes from our house. He spent the next 2 hours at the hospital while I was wondering what I was supposed to do by myself to get ready for the 33 people who were eating dinner AT MY HOUSE at 2 pm. Especially since all that was left to do was put up enough tables for 33 people.

I was so worried about it that I sat down on the couch and read. For real. It didn't take long for Paul's dad, after finally getting to see a doctor, to be diagnosed with a probable kidney stone. They took some other tests as a precaution... checking his heart, etc.. But, once I knew he was ok, I knew the rest would get done. See, how weird am I? I get more worked up wondering what to order at a tapas bar than I do about 33 people descending on my house expecting to eat Thanksgiving dinner.

Would you expect any less than this kind of story from me?

We got everything set up. Here is a tour of my dining room and living room. This is how I set up to feed that herd.

Clearly, someone did not get the message that I adhere to Old Testament food laws. For real. I do. My uncle walked in and set that abomination on my table. I gagged. Yes, abomination. It sounds like a strong word, but you can take that up with God.

How beautiful is that turkey? I was totally going to take full credit for that bird. I was until my mom commented on the growth that was coming out of it's back end. I told her it was Rosemary. She replied back, "I don't care what her name is. She's ugly!" My mother-in-law made that turkey. How do you do something like that running to the hospital thinking your husband is going to kick the can? She's Martha Stewart... or at least a Martha wannabe.

My turkey was not worthy of a picture. He basically looked like we peeled him off the road. That's what happens when you cook your turkey upside-down.
Hiawatha or my niece, Rylan. She found that outfit in my basement. Who knew? Very appropriate, huh?

Uh, yeah, out of the 33 people at my house... 15 were kids. It made for a quiet meal:-)

A blurry picture of my cousin Shannon and her beautiful baby boy, Carsen.
That is my new nephew, Chase. He's already started training for Ironman. He's 4 months old... just wait until you see him next to Emme. The should have named him (please read with Austrian accent) Arnold.

Emme is very much partial to the men in her life. She loves my dad.

I like standing in between my two brothers. They make me feel little.

We played Ninja. If you don't know... don't worry. You're not missing anything in my book. Everyone else loved it. Paul told me I was a dirt sandwich. The other day when I didn't want to do the Christmas walk in our little city, as I was walking in the house he told me to go put jelly on my dirt sandwich.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say... he's not thinking I am too fun these days.

See, who wants to stand around like that waiting to see if someone can hit your hand?

That's my brother. He's a doctor. Don't you think his orthopedic group and his patients would love to see that picture?

Ahhh!! More ninja!

Emme loved, loved, loved Damon. I am pretty sure he love, love, loves her back. How could you not?

See what I mean... Chase is 4 months old. 4 months!!! That's approximately 120 days he has been out of the womb. Emme is 27 months old. He could eat her for a snack.

What do you say about us? I got nothin!

My dad, Damon (my brother) and his wife, Kelly. I took at least 10 pictures of Kelly. In EVERY picture... I am not exaggerating.... EVERY picture she closed her eyes. I wanted to beat her up.

My cousin Lyndsey and my Aunt Vicki and Arnold (I mean, Chase).

Can you have Thanksgiving without having wrestling? I don't think so.
Don't you just want to kiss those cheeks?? I heart him!

I LOVE Thanksgiving!! For real.