Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Because I Never Want to Forget Part II

For those of you who love the gory pictures, here you go!





I think about the most fun thing you can do with a wound that looks like it could turn septic at any moment, an achilles tendon that was just repaired and a boot and a pair of crutches is head to the beach 12 hours away.

So that's just what we did.

My doctor changed my cast before I left because a) my cast was so tight it felt like my foot was having contractions and at any moment it was going to birth another foot and because b) we were headed to the beach. Although, it still doesn't make any sense because he told me to stay away from the sand and the water.

Oh good! So let's go!!!!!!!!

I had a long week at the beach. We went for a family reunion with Paul's side of the family. To get into any of the houses that we rented, I had to go up 2 flights of stairs. And, just to get to the beach so I could sit and sweat, I had to "walk" at least a football field.

After a long week, it took us 15 hours to get home and we got up the next morning and went to church. After church, we went to out to lunch because we didn't have any food in the house. When lunch was over, I sent Paul home with the kids and my mom out to pull up the car. She was going to take me to the grocery store, but I had to go to the bathroom first. The restaurant was not very crowded and I was so glad because when I have to GO.... I like to GO A L O N E!

I was hobbling back to the restroom and when I was just about at the door, this lady came up right behind me, "Oh, what you do to your foot?"

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!! I have been living in a 1000 sq foot house at the beach with 17 people (yes, 17 people in one house) for a week. All I want it some privacy in the bathroom.

I make my way inside. "I dropped a knife and severed my achilles tendon."

I turned around to look at a woman and upon first glance and I got the vibe that she might be a little socially awkward. She had some really bad frosted hair that is spiked up all over the place, red lipstick and frosty blue eye shadow.

She responded, "Oh, did you have to have surgery."

I proceeded into the stall thinking surely she will not shut up, do her business and leave.

"Yes."

She headed into her stall and I heard, "So, who was your surgeon?"

"Dr. Walker." Keeping the answers brief. She'll get the point.

"Is he at the Valley?"

"No."

"Oh! He's not? Where is he?"

OH MY WORD!!!!!!!!!!!! I do NOT want to talk to you! I have business to do in here.

"He's at____________".

"I'm a nurse. I thought sure he was at the Valley."

"Nope."

"So, how long ago did you do it?"

For the love of all that is holy! Isn't there some kind of unwritten etiquette that you don't talk to people through stalls when you don't know them?

"4 weeks ago."

"When was your surgery?"

At this point, I realized I was going to get nothing accomplished in there so I came out. And, yep, she was right there waiting on me.

"I had surgery on the 30th, 10 days after the injury."

I started drying my hands.

"When can you walk on it again?"

I walked to the door. Opened the door. Went out the door. Turned around. Held door open for myself and answered her ANNOYING question.

"Well, my brother is a foot and ankle surgeon and he says usually 8 weeks after surgery."

WRONG thing to say.

"Oh, where is he a surgeon?"

"Pittsburgh."

"Oh, so are you a nurse?"

At this point I have moved farther away and now she is holding the door open.

"No. I'm not a nurse."

"Oh, I'm surprised you're not a nurse."

NOW WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU SURPRISED I AM NOT A NURSE????
BECAUSE MY BROTHER IS A DOCTOR AND I HAVE AN INJURY???!!!

"So, what to you do?"

"I attend anger management classes so I don't shoot annoying people!!! NOW LEAVE ME ALONE."

Ok so I didn't say that. I think I muttered something about being a teacher and then I turned and NEVER looked back. I told her my mom was waiting.

She went back into the restroom. Probably to finish the business she wouldn't let me do!!

Geesh!!

The next day, Janae asked if I could meet her after she taught her Zumba class. She too had been on vacation and we wanted to catch up. We decided to head to a little restaurant that I had never been to. It had an outdoor seating area and we thought it would be nice to sit outside and talk.

We had probably been there about 20 minutes when the door opened and headed out to sit at the table right next to us was..... yep, the lady from the day before.

I gasped and Janae turned and said, "What?!"

I said, "That lady! She was at the same restaurant I was at yesterday."

Janae, being facetious says, "I don't know how you'd recognize her."

No one could forget that hair.

I lowered my voice and I said, "I've got to tell you about her."

I leaned in closer so I could whisper and Janae could hear me.

The lady and her husband/boyfriend ? were seated RIGHT next to us.

As the frosty spiky haired lady was being seated, she looked at the back of Janae's Zumba shirt and she started talking, "So, you teach Zuhmba?

My eyes got really wide and I looked straight into Janae's eyes and I said, "She just asked you if you teach Zuhmba? ZUHMBA!"

We fought the urge to die laughing, instead we ignored her and I kept talking.

Again we heard, "So, you teach Zuhmba?"

Again we ignored her.

Why is she saying it like that?

I honestly don't know how we kept it together. We are not the most mature people together. We think the same things are funny and we laugh... A LOT!

We kept looking at each other and kept right on talking. She was not saying A WORD to her boyfriend/husband (same guy she was with the day before, by the way) and she kept glancing at our table.

I whispered, "Janae, she keeps looking over her for any break in our conversation to talk to us."

Janae: "Just don't look at her."

We had managed to avoid her for a long time. But at about 10 pm and we decided we both needed to head home.

We stood up and she saw her chance. "So, you teach Zuhmba?

Janae: "Yes, I do."

"Yeah, I've been to your Zumba class. (She said Zumba. She can say it right! Why was she saying Zuhmba then?) (And, WHY DID SHE KEEP ASKING IF SHE ALREADY KNEW THE ANSWER?) Yeah, but you move so damn fast I can't keep up with you! I'm going to come again. You still teach on Wednesday? Yeah, I'll be there Wednesday. Where do you think I should stand? I've stood in the back and I can't really see that well. I don't want to be in the front though."

Janae came up with a brilliant idea, "Well, I guess you could stand in the middle?"

"Yeah. I'll be there Wednesday."

She shifted her focus to me. "What happened to your foot?"

Seriously?!

"I dropped a knife and severed my achilles tendon."

"Oh, d'ya have surgery."

IS THIS A JOKE?

"Yes."

"Who was your surgeon?"

"Dr. Walker."

"Oh, is he at the Valley?"

Ok! Where's the camera? There is no way this lady does not remember this same story from a little more than 24 hours ago.

"No."

"Are you a nurse?"

WHY DO YOU KEEP ASKING ME IF I'M A NURSE?

"No. I'm not a nurse."

Janae started walking away and I followed right behind her. We got through the door to the inside of the restaurant, waited for the door to close safely behind us and burst into tears of laughter.

What are the chances? What is wrong with people and how on earth do they find me?

I went to Zumba on that Wednesday.

Oh yes I did! I sat right there next to the Janae's stage and prayed to the good Lord that the frosted spiky haired lady would show up. I could just visualize her doing some Zuhmba.

You can imagine my disappointed.

And, this story my friends, is what I really want to remember about my injury.

Socially awkward people! I love them!!!



Monday, April 2, 2012

Because I Never Want to Forget Part 1

It's been a year since I've written a blog post. That's ridiculous. It's probably ridiculous given any context but it's even more ridiculous given that I have spent at least 14 weeks of this past year doing very little. As a matter of fact, 8 of those weeks I wasn't even allowed to put any weight on my left foot.

Why? Well, glad you asked.

On June 20th, I was making dinner for my family and for Janae's family as they were returning from a trip. I didn't have a kitchen sink because we were remodeling our kitchen. So, I carried a skillet with some utensils down the stairs and into the laundry room. I have a large utility sink so I was washing everything in there. As I stepped into the laundry room, my foot gave out and I couldn't walk. I thought I stepped on something and that the pain would register in a moment, so I turned to try to walk again to see what I stepped on. Again, I could not walk. Instead, I noticed a gaping hole right above my heel (it split like chicken) and some blood on the floor. Then, as my eyes glanced up, I saw a large slicer knife with a pronged end lying on the ground.
Our friend Leah was at our house doing laundry, so I very calmly yelled at her, "Hey Leah, can you come down and help me." She came down to find me on all fours as I could not for the life of me figure out what to do. I then asked her to get my phone. I called Paul and told him what had happened and asked him what I should do. At this point, I was white as a ghost, face covered in sweat beads, and positive I was going to blow chunks at any moment.

He said, "Go to the emergency room." I said, "You don't understand. I'm really hurt. I can't walk. " He said, "I know! Go to the emergency room!" Clearly, not thinking straight, I was like, "Oh the emergency room!"

I got off the phone and realized I was no better off than when I called him. I still could not walk. Leah and Shelby got me a towel and some tape and I taped the towel around my foot, and then I started to crawl. I crawled over to the stairs and then up the stairs. I crawled around the corner to the front door and then realized I had no idea what to do. By this time, Gracie and our neighbor was home so they ran to get me some crutches. They brought the crutches back and I was in no condition to adjust them as they were way too big. Finally, I held onto Leah and Shelby, hopped what seemed like a mile to the car, and then Leah drove to me the emergency room.

I waited way too long in that waiting room. I was not hurting I just wanted that gaping hole closed up. I saw a teenage boy holding a towel around his finger, I desperately wanted to bet him that my cut was worse than his, but I never made it over there.

While I was waiting to be taken back, my friend Courtney called. Her husband, Brad, out of the blue, insisted she call me. When she found out where I was, she came straight to the hospital.
I was taken back for xrays while my male nurse friend made sure he told me I was his greatest nightmare. He was sure I was in some slasher film and someone had waited under my car to slash my achilles or I was walking down an old wooden staircase where someone was hiding, whipped out a knife and slashed my achilles.

Comforting. Clearly, he had taken a few courses in counseling patients.

While it was confirmed that my achilles tendon was indeed slashed in two, the story was no where near as exciting as he was trying to make it.

My mom and Paul arrived at the hospital sure I had over exaggerated my cut. At this point, they had me turn over on my stomach so they could flush the wound.

Janae was calling and being called for updates on her drive home. Finally they stitched me up and told me I needed to contact a surgeon for the repair.

Janae arrived at the hospital right before I was released and Courtney went to teach her Zumba class while she stayed with me.

Meanwhile, my friend Jen had gone to get my kids at home, taken them to dinner and then hung out with them until we got home.

Once at home my friend Andrea (please pronounce AHHn drea) arrived and before I knew it, there was a party at my house. And, while it was definitely not an occasion to celebrate, it sure made me thankful to be surrounded by so many people who cared.

While I never want to forget what it feels like to be surround by so many friends and family, this is not really the purpose for this post, so, you're going to have to come back tomorrow to read what I REALLY never want to forget:-)

I'm rusty. You didn't think I was really going to get it all done in one post, did you?


My first cast... all for a cut.
Getting my first cast cut off before surgery.
The cast the surgeon put on. Written on my leg
Yes.
Shew! They got they right leg

More pictures tomorrow!