Wednesday, April 29, 2009

The Fat Barbie and The Flush Down the Toilet

      The Fat Barbie, er.... I mean, I.....   I made it!  I survived!  I put on a bathing suit and faced the cruel reality that I weigh too much.  It was humiliating. And, depressing.  So, when it was my turn to sit and watch Emme, I ate red Swedish Fish and Sour Patch Kids..... because........ that makes it all better.  Or worse.  I can never decide which.

     We went to Great Wolf Lodge.  We were supposed to go back on February 12, but when you knock a cup of very hot water out of your 10 year olds hand and give her 2nd degree burns over 14% of her body, it sets you back a few days.  Or a few months.  

     We had plans to go with our really good friends.  So, between Shelby's healing and the schedules of two different families, it took us this long to get it scheduled again.  I would have much preferred to have gone when it was snowing outside, but it was very fun nonetheless.

     It was so fun that I had to explain to Jackson this morning why we couldn't live at the Great Wolf Lodge.  Forget living at the Great Wolf Lodge!  I am just glad he lived through the Great Wolf Lodge.

     Last year, we made our first visit to that giant indoor water park.  Just our little 5 person family made the trip.  The kids were beside themselves excited.  They could not wait to hit those slides.  

     Once we got in our room, I sent Paul ahead with the kids so I could unpack, change, etc...  So, they ran into the park and hit the first slide they came upon.  It was a smaller slide and the slide did not require a tube.  After that slide, they decided to move on to the bigger ones.

     It is important to note, there was only a handful of people there.  The same with this year.  We strategically plan our trips there... the advantage of homeschooling....   We don't want to share the slides.  We're kinda selfish that way.


     They move to the bigger slides.  Jackson goes bounding up the 80 stairs to the slides with Paul trailing behind.  By the time Paul gets to the landing, all he sees is feet.... Jackson is heading down a slide headfirst.  The problem is... this slide requires a tube.

     Our family calls this slide The Flush Down the Toilet.  We call it that because it begins in a tube with a little plunge.  Then a little turn and a great big plunge.... until one finally lands in a bowl. Once in the bowl, one swirls round and round until one drops down the hole in the middle and shoots out into a pool.  Just like a toilet.... if you ask us.

     The lifeguard, who was supposed to be monitoring The Flush down the Toilet slide last year, was tending to another slide on the same platform.  There should be more than one guard working but with very little people there, I can understand why they would only staff it with one.

     Paul yelled at the guard, while watching Jackson slip out of sight, "Is he supposed to have a tube?"

     The guard yelled back, "HE WENT DOWN WITHOUT A TUBE??!!"

     The poor guard waiting at the bottom of the slide yelled, "Dude!  Where's your tube?"

     They said he was lucky he didn't break his back.  Keep in mind, he was 4 last year when we went.  

     I had a hard time sleeping last year after hearing that story.  I kept waking up thinking about it.  During one of my wakeups, I thought, "When Paul got to the landing, did he say he saw Jackson's feet?  HIS FEET?"

     Somehow in the original story, I missed the head first part.  That made it even worse.

     This year, when I got off The Flush Down the Toilet slide, I went and found Jackson, gave him a hug and thanked the Good Lord he was still alive.  I am not kidding!

     Nothing quit that exciting this year.... thankfully!

     Enjoy a few pictures from our trip... but don't even think you're going to catch a glimpse of me in my suit.

     Poor Jackson!  Can you see how swollen his face is from allergies.  I think he is just allergic to pollen.  The same thing happened last year.

     Jackson and his best buddy, Andrew.
     Emme playing in the water.  I don't think it is possible for anyone to understand how good of a baby she is.  I would have hated taking my kids at that age.  She was an angel!  And, for the most part, she enjoyed the water a lot more than I thought she would.  We even sent her down a few of the baby slides.  I am not sure she loved it.... but she didn't cry or protest.



Gina said...

I forgot about that story about Jackson! I would have been so upset too!! Glad that you are all okay.

Emme is getting so big and looking so cute! Can't wait to see her! Oh and you too... =)

Sharla said...

That looks like too much fun...we have one of those in our neck of the woods, I guess we'll have to try it out!

Emme is just too cute, those BIG brown eyes...

Ok...I am laughing soooo hard, I have to be completely inappropriate and comment on word for word verification is 'unsperm!!' Is that possible?! I wonder if you can get 'unpregnant' with 'unsperm?' Where do they come up with these word verifications? Does the computer just make up words?

Jenney said...


Anonymous said...

We went to Great Wolf the week we were unemployed and churchless back in September and I loved going then... we didn't have to wait hardly at all and that was one of the most least stressful getaways we've ever done...

Elizabeth Bergeron said...

Here we live 15 min. from the place and all I've done is have lunch with a friend there in March. I guess we should take the kids while they are still kids.