What do Emme and Pebbles have in common?

The forces of nature are trying to hold me hostage in my house. First it was the white trash squirrel in my van. Seriously, have you thought about that? There are hundreds of trees just around my house and this so called mother builds her child a nest in my van. (Click, if you missed that post.) Seriously, does she think that throwing a few leaves under the hood of a van constitutes suitable living conditions? What kind of mother is she?

Then, Saturday morning, we are all running around like chickens with out heads cut off because... not 1, not 2, but all three kids had soccer games. I hit the ground running so hard that I didn't even have a chance to make coffee. Which, in all honesty, suited me just fine. There just 'happens' to be a Starbucks on the way to the fields. I mean, if I am forced, I don't mind stopping there for coffee.

But, as it turns out, I didn't even really need the coffee.

In the morning, one of the first things I do is run around and open all the blinds in the bedrooms. I can't stand to have them closed. (Hey, did you know that people who like their windows open like that... they like people and have a welcoming home. I'm just saying....)

So, I opened the blind in my room... the one that's RIGHT next to my bed, on my side, where I sleep.... and I am pretty sure that as soon as the blind went up, I hit the ground. Seriously, it would have been no different if someone had shot me because..... this is what I saw:

You don't need coffee when that is what greets you in the morning!

That's the biggest spider I have seen around these here parts. (My dad's from Hazzard, KY... I can talk like that sometimes.) I can't live here anymore. There was no way to get to that spider and smash him to smithereens. He was on the 2nd floor window, right in the middle of the window. Saturday afternoon and Sunday, I got used to him being right outside my window. At least I could keep an eye on him.

Then, Monday morning, the girls came running up the stairs announcing that the hurricane force winds moving through here yesterday, knocked him down... they saw him rappelling down as they were looking out the window below my window. What are the chances? Now, he's on the ground. What am I supposed to do about that? I am going to come outside one day, and Emme is going to be riding him. That's how big that spider is.

Lurking in the deep recesses of my mind was this picture. (Hey, I liked cartoons when I was a kid.) I scoured the internet to find the picture. That's Jackson pulling Emme. I don't know who the other two are because Paul has no hair and if I have to look like that mom to be skinny, I'll stay just the way I am. Thankyouverymuch!

Does that not SO look like Emme riding a spider? hahaha!