Monday, February 2, 2009

Not the BEST day

     I am writing this from a hospital room at 1:45 IN THE MORNING.  I can't sleep and for some reason my legs are killing me.  I sure the pain is minimal compared to what my little Shelby went through this morning.

This morning she woke up and came downstairs.  She had a really croupy cough and she was complaining that it really hurt to cough.  I was getting ready to exercise, the video was ready to go.  But, I stopped and went up to the kitchen.

I always remember my mom saying when we were little and we had a cough like that, the doctor's advise was put us in the bathroom and make it steamy.  The theory behind that being the warm, moist air would loosen the cough.

So, I put some water and sea salt in a mug and put it in the microwave for 3 minutes.  I took it down to her.  She was sitting on the couch where I was going to exercise and she was waiting for me to come back.  

I gave her the mug and told her to put her blanket over her head and breath in the warm air.  I was already exercising when she said it wasn't working.

I stopped and went to get the mug from her.  She was holding part of the mug with her blanket, so when I pulled the blanket off her head, the hot water went down her chest, over her stomach, down to the unmentionable area and onto the top of her legs.

Instantly, as she was ripping her clothes off, her skin was coming off too.

We rushed her to the ER.  She was given morphine for the pain and then admitted.  

They had to scrub her to get the dead skin off.  They then applied some salve and bandages  to all the areas possible.  She has 2nd degree burns on, I think they said 11%, of her body.

She is resting comfortable now thanks to the pain medication.  She did throw up a few times because of the medication.  But, as the night wore on, she ate and overall felt really good.

I feel like a big jerk.  I know it was an accident but it's really hard not to think about what I should have done differently.

 I set my alarm this morning and got up to spend some time reading my Bible and praying.  I haven't been able to do this much since we returned from China because I am up so many times during the night, that in the morning, I sleep until the kids wake up.   Emme is sleeping better now, so I need to get back in the habit of doing this.  I don't do it out of obligation.  I do it because I love it.  I love reading God's word and praying.  I love that he speaks to me from his Word.  I love that the Word of God is like an onion and the layers keep peeling and the learning and the amazement of His word never stops, but it becomes deeper.

I thought it ironic that on all the days for this to happen. My days are usually much better after spending time with Him.  I am sure the Lord knew ahead of time that I would need it.  And, as I was sitting in the ER in a state of panic, I felt the Lord speak to me and tell me, "I use these things to shape character."

And, while it doesn't seem quite fair that it wasn't me instead of her, I have to trust the Lord.  He sees the big picture.  And, while anything painful is never pleasant, beautiful things often result.  A pearl is a painful grain of sand to a clam before it is a pearl.  An exquisite diamond is a lump of coal before it becomes an expensive gem.  And, how many stories have you heard of successful people having to triumph over all types of hardship and struggle before they are the people we read about?

I will be the first to admit that I would avoid pain and suffering at all costs.  Unfortunately, it is and will always be part of this life.  But, fortunately, when you have a relationship with the creator of the universe and his son Jesus, you have the promise of living without all this one day.  And, even while we are here, we can cling to other promises.

Jeremiah 29:11 
 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God

One final thought... this isn't in the Bible, but maybe it should be.  KIDDING!  KIDDING!

People are like tubes of toothpaste, when the pressure is on, what's inside is going to come out.

I have always, always known that Shelby was/is a special little girl.  There's something uniquely wonderful about her.  And, to see who she really is today was a little gift in the middle of a rough situation.  

She refused to let me cry.  She said, "I am not going to let you beat yourself up over this mom.  It was an accident."  She has been kind and polite to everyone.  She has been gushing with thankfulness to her visitors and in response to all the emails and messages of people praying for her.  She has told me she loves me 1,000 times.  

She is a beautiful little girl and I have always thought it a privilege to call her mine... even more so today.


gnangle04 said...

I am crying, not so much for Shelbys' pain and your heartache (that was yesterday), but now at how Shelby is shining, showing her beauty and strength and also your love and faith in our God. It's inspiring. You are all really good tubes of toothpaste! I am continually grateful for your friendships.
Tell Shelby I love her!!

gnangle04 said...

I am crying, not because of Shelbys' pain or your heartache (that was yesterday), but because of the beauty and strength in Shelby. She IS a gem. I am also inspired at the evident love you have for our God. You all are wonderful tubes of toothpaste!
I am continually grateful for your friendships.
Tell Shelby I love her!!

Gina said...

Hey guess what? I love you too! You are a great mom and an encouragement to me all the time. Thanks for the encouraging post today. Are you going to change the name of your blog to something REALLY deep now? =)

Please tell Shelby that Anthony and I have been praying for her all day yesterday and will keep praying today. We love her and are proud of her great attitude. Love ya Shelb! Maybe she can use the time in the hospital to write a song about the experience??

Rachael said...

What a sweet, sweet girl you have. Accidents DO happen, don't beat yourself up over this. She will remember this time as a time her mother was there for her and sat with her and loved her through a painful time, NOT the time Mom dumped hot water on me. There is no way you could have known she was holding the mug with the blanket. Shelby is 10 going on 25... she sees the big picture and she knows how much this hurts you. Give her a big hug for me and tell her we love her. Let me know if she doesn't go home today... we would like to come out to see her. Hang in there. Lots of love and prayers are being lifted up.

Pumpkin Head Baby Co said...

I am praying for you guys.

darja said...

awww. april, that made me cry. you are great, and so is shelby. i prayed last night that God would be glorified through the situation, and clearly He is. probably in more ways than just the ones that are visible. I liked what Paul said to grace and jackson last night- that you'll be a better family for it. :)
Can I come visit today after work if you guys are still there?
do you want anything?

Tony and Rett said...

Awww, what a special little girl. And what a special mommy. Just know that we'll be praying for you (both).

Just think...all these little character building events will create one magnificent family of God.

Sharla said...

Tell Ms. Shelby she has touched my heart in a really special way... What an amazing young woman!

Still praying for you my friend and Shelby, I hope she is doing better today.

I hope you're doing better too...



A little piece of 7th heaven said...

I am so sorry that happened to your precious girl.
Our vision is always 20/20 in hindsight. Sometimes I wish I had a crystal ball for moments like that...God sees the bigger picture...the one our simple minds can not..
May she heal real FAST!

Truly Blessed! said...

Oh, how hard Mommy Guilt is to overcome. Your dear, sweet girl is absolutely right: it was an accident and no one is to "blame" for it.

Poor baby. Poor Mommy.

MississippiZen said...

oh wow ... We will be praying for Shelby and for you as well. What a brave and beautiful little soul she is.

Abby said...

Aww, so sad to hear about the situation. But so glad to hear the positives of it too! I can think of no one better to handle this than Ms. Shelby. Just think, someday this will make great material for the Broadway play she is BOUND to write, direct and play the lead character in. :)
As for you, April, I am sorry for your mommy guilt. I can't even imagine! Obviously, your daughter is able to see through all of that and know what an awesome mom you are. We will keep praying!

Leslie said...

I'm so sorry. PLEASE don't blame yourself. It could happen to ANY of us. I came over from Sharla's blog and just wanted to send you and Shelby a cyber-hug. I don't understand either why these things happen, but YES God is the all-knowing comforter and healer. Just look to Him and renounce ANY thoughts of doubt or guilt because those are not of God. Hugs, L

Elizabeth Bergeron said...

Hi April,
I was so shocked when I opened your blog and saw this!! Larry and I are praying for you all, especially healing for Shelby. She sounds like she is a very remarkable young lady, you did good with her!! If I think back 32 years, yes, that long, there are so many times I wish I had done things differently, but you need to extend "grace" to yourself just as Christ does to all of us. Life happens, good and bad. Shelby will heal, perhaps even have scars from this, but she will rise to the times and prove to you just how much she loves you and forgives you. How like this is our relationship with our Lord!! Shelby, you are awesome. This must be very painful to go thru, but you are so gracious from what I read. Perhaps when you are ready you might write your experience down and share it with other children. Hang in there April!!

Jessi Dawn said...

Wow. That is an awful day. I am sorry your little girl went through that; and sorry for you, the mommy! Hope she is doing mucho better today. She sounds like a sweetie.