Thursday, July 9, 2009

The Cool, Smooth Criminal

Jackson doing his back dive.
Ever notice that some people have the "cool" factor and some people just don't. Seriously, what in the world is it that makes someone.... cool?

I don't think I'd think so much about it if one of my children didn't have the "cool" factor to the max. And, I am not bragging because I am not even sure I like it.

But, since Jackson was 2 years old he has had "it". It came about at the pool. All of a sudden, all these older boys, ages 6-16, would be like. "Hey Jackson!", "Look, there's Jackson." "Jackson, who do you like better me or him?

He struts around that pool like a proud peacock. Him and his swim team Speedo jammers and his body that is a solid muscle. I have never seen a 6 year old more defined. And, he can take you or leave you, especially at the pool. I think his motto is, "there are 10 more where you came from."

One of the reasons he wins over all these people is because, he can do anything. At the beginning of the pool season, he told me he was going to go do a backflip off the low dive. I said, "Um... no you're not." But, I was talking to the same kid who wanted to go off the high dive when he was 2, yes 2, and managed to do so once when we had our backs turned from him because it was rest period.

So, he went up and did a back flip... like he'd been doing it his whole life. Because of this, he announced he wanted to be on the dive team. How could I tell him no?

His first meet he didn't place. 2nd meet-1st place, 3rd meet-2nd place, 4th meet-1st place, 5th meet-2nd place.

People should not be allowed to be cool and athletic. I swear, it seems gifted people have gifts in multitudes while the rest of us spend our lives trying to figure out what we are good at. Shopping, can shopping be a spiritual gift? Because I have felt that desperate to find my giftedness!

This "coolness" has also made him an extortionist. I am not kidding. He can get money anywhere and everywhere. I'll give him a quarter and he'll come back with something that cost $0.75. When I ask him where he got the money to pay for it, he'll say "That guy/girl at the window just gave it to me or so and so offered me 2 more quarters."

OR, I won't give him any money and he'll come back sipping on a Slushie. I give him the look and he knows the look. So without me saying a word, he'll say, "What!? Nick wanted to get it for me!" Nick will be standing behind him sipping his own Slushie and just grinning because.. now he's cool cause he's hanging with Jackson.

I grew increasingly alarmed at his ability to con people out of things this year. All of a sudden he started to amass things that I had never bought him: Lego Men, Star Wars book, Pokeman cards, Baukgans, etc... He had this whole little stash on his dresser. So, finally, one day I said, "Jackson, where are you getting these things?" Very nonchalantly he said, "I trade people on the bus."

"You trade people?"

"Yeah! Trade."

"Well, what are you trading? What are you giving people so they give you things?"



But he wasn't trading legos like Lego men or something he'd built, he was trading like a Lego. One piece. A piece that you'd need a hundred more of to make something.

But, here is the icing on the cake. About 2 weeks before school ended, he came home with this HUGE Pokeman book. The kind of book that would cost about 15- 20 bucks.

"Where'd you get that big book?"


"What'd you give Sam?"

"A Pokeman card."

Gee! I think the book is to help one do whatever in the world one does with Pokeman cards. So, now Sam has one measely card and no book.


But, the last day or so of school, as I was going through Jackson's backpack, I found a $20 bill.

Alarmed, of course, I yelled, "Jackson! Where did you get this $20 dollar bill?"


"Why'd Sam give you $20."

"He wanted his book back so I told him he had to pay me."

Are you kidding me? He got someone to pay him $20 FOR THEIR OWN BOOK.

See, I have an extortionist on my hands! He's a 6 year old criminal.

Paul always says, "We have to teach him. It's better to tame a wild horse than to raise a dead one. If we channel these things in the right direction...."

WHAT!? We won't need to worry about saving for retirement anymore?

No. I get what he's saying, but I don't really like Jackson being so cool he can manipulate people.

I am glad I have a good 12 years left to tame the stallion. But, more importantly, I am glad that when we ask God for wisdom, according to James 1, He has to give it to us. Because I need all the wisdom I can get to raise this man child.

P.S. Thankfully, I know Sam's mom. I gave her the $20 back, and we had a good laugh. She also told me her 16 year old son had been complaining about missing money.

***********Will edit letter with video of Jackson's flips.*************************


Sharla said...

I'm laughing so hard I almost wet my pants!! Jackson is hilarious, but I LOVE Paul's expression... I have never heard that... We have alot of expressions in the south, but that has to go down as one of my all time favorites!!

Nick and Jackson would be good friends... Nick had his friends paying him $5 for things they could have bought for 50 cents... I made him stop! I know, I know, capitalism at its best... But I didn't want him to lose all of his friends!!

Tony and Rett said...

AWESOME! I want to know Jackson! I want to know Jackson! Can I, can I, can I? I think I have $20!

Hehe, all are TOO cool!

The Gang's Momma said...

LOL - I have one of these too. Maybe not quite so blatant - mostly cuz he's learned to keep it on the low down from Mom! - but I worry too. So far, it's all been innocent but I worry nonetheless.

And Paul's quote? My favorite new quote. Seriously. That's some wise pastoring/parenting there. Nugget. Pure gold. :)

Jenney said...

I think perhaps enough of us have kids like this (as my 2 year old gets money everywhere he goes and can charm strangers in seriously scary ways) that perhaps we should start a support group. MOFS(Moms Of Future Scammers) instead of the ever popular MOPS.